The Age of Aquarius or is it the Aged of Desper-arius!

For Jayzus sake! I'm sitting at the bar, it's early evening, I'm on my own and the place is empty. I haven't seen sight nor sound of daOak since we returned two days ago. We had been away since June, that was when the Alka-nerda ganged up on us and paid for a 'Fat-twat' to be placed on our heads. However, recently the Nerds have allowed us to return once we kept our mouths shut, mind our own business and don't write anything about them. He..hehehe...yea...right!

So there I am, sitting, minding me own bleeding business, watching the sexy little burd behind the bar refilling the cooler. Actually, it was worse than that I was ogling the little burd's behind, as she refilled the cooler behind the bar!

Okay....Guilty! By the way she is a pretty little thing, with a somewhat grumpy face until she smiles, and then jayzus she would brighten the heart of any man.

'Polish' she said she was, can you imagine dat? Polish and dis is Ireland! Did ya ever think you would see the day? Polish, Chineese, Argintinkians and others, all working in my local.

Anyway der she was yacking away to me, filling the cooler, her back to me and I didn't hear a thing she said. To be honest I couldn't take me eyes off her arse and dat bit of string dat was going around her waist and down elsewhere.

Being a nosey old fart I had to ask her what it was.

She said it was a 'thong'.

A f**ing thong! Im my day a thong was something ya put on yur feet. Now she says they puts dem between the cracks of their arse! And I can't imagine why and where it ends up! Wooo....whats de world coming too? I would hate to see wat she would do with me old army boots!




Suddenly I felt dat fimilar cold breeze materilised beside me, and daOak appears 'for F***$ sake!' he says 'I've been away for a few months, and the children of the Age of Aquarius have turned into the Aged of Desper-arius!'

'Wat are ya talking about, ya old muppet?' I asks

'Well' he says 'Years ago, when the Budda, Queen Vic and Mystic, used to come in ere they wer yung, a laugh and sparky. Now dey have turned into fucking grumpy old farts'

I tought I wus hering things! daOak complaining about iss old mates!

'All dey do now is complain!' he grumbles, with his head between his hands 'and even worse, dey are getin mixed up wit dat other crowd!'

Oh Jayzus! by this time me head is bleeding melting, daOak talking about others complaining 'Wat are you going on about, what is all mixed up?' I asks him

'De old corner boys and Queen Vic' he says 'even without the Professor, have become the moaniest fuckers I have ever heard. And! And! Wats worse!' he screeches eyes bulging out of his old dial 'I'm sure they are going to cross breed!'

At this stage all I want to do is get back to gawking at the Polish burd 'Okay daOak' I says 'Wat are ya talking about cross breeding, who is going to cross breed?'

He leaned forward and mumbles 'I heard one of the Nerds saying dat he was going to invite da Budda up to his apartment. Ya see I always said it! The Nerds are from the twilight zone and dey are going to try and cross breed'

Mmmm...I suppose the movie will be called 'Aliens daOak 3'