Walkies Dear!

I'm on a mission 'The Wise' has kindly asked me to cover or should I say undercover events in the Oak in his absence. So it was my pleasure to meet Marjoram Picketfence last night; who was sporting a new 'Stage Three' hair doo... and was looking very nice.
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It was easy to see that this is a female with a determined edge and a deep understanding of what skills are required to achieve her goals. She told me in a demure and gentle voice 'You got to just take what you want! Don't pussyfoot around waiting for those' she said looking over at the Nerd Herd 'To come looking for you!'
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'How did you meet Dick?' I asked
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She smiled 'I assume you are talking about Perry?' she replied
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'I thought his name was Dick?' I asked confused
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'Well it was' She said with that smile again 'I have renamed him 'Perry' after my father 'Perry Mason Picketfence'. I believe it is better to give them a new name once you get them to 'Stage Three'.

I want him to be like my father. He's a great man, he's been at stage five for all of my life, and will be a great role model for Perry'.

We had a girlie giggle 'Did he mind?' I asked curiously

'I didn't ask him' she said with a snarl 'That's rule 27a in the reprogramming guide! Never ask them anything!'

'I have to ask you for the sake of our readers. What does 'Stage Three' entail? I whispered

She smiled again 'Well some girls make it very difficult. However in reality it very simple! Their brains are not actually in their heads' another girlie giggle 'I will leave that one up to your own imagination!' She laughed 'Once you have chosen the one you want.

You get them to take you away for a couple of romantic weekends and get them to 'Stage Two' as quick as possible'.

They slobber over you a lot at this stage, and it can be very unpleasant, but you only have to pretend to like it for a while. Once you get them to 'Stage Three' and they start slobbering you can just give them a slap on the head and send them back to their own mat at the end of the bed'.
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'It all sounds very easy' I replied amazed 'Did you have any problems with his friends?'
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'No not really!' she nodded 'But this is where you have to be one step ahead! You have to pretend to like his friends. Now that's a real pain! The shite I have had to listen too over the last year was painful!

Most of his friend hadn't a clue that he was being reprogrammed until it was too late. That's when you have to act quickly! We call it moving them to a 'Safe House' You have to snatch him from his comfort zone. I thinks it's number 36c in the reprogramming guide!

You get him as familiar with his new environment as quickly as possible. Now at this point you will have to put up with some more slobbering until he gets settled. The secret here is to make sure the 'Safe House' is far enough away from his friends, so that they can't just call by without an invitation! You don't want him going out without you too often!'

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I will have more from my conversation with Marjoram Picketfence at a later date!

Signing off for the moment!

aaaMarsha Mellow

Undercover for 'The Wise One'