Perry Comes Home!

Perry was bored and grumpy, though he didn't show it. Marjoram didn't allow him to be grumpy. Once again he had sat through Coronation Street, Eastenders, and Emerdale. This was his nightly ritual for what seemed like years, but it was probably only two weeks, he wasn't sure.

Over the last couple of nights he had been having very unusual dreams. In his dreams he could see himself sitting amongst a group of men in a bar, they were laughing and he had a pint of larger in front of him on the bar.

The men looked familiar, though he couldn't be sure, the setting was wrong, he hardly ever went into a bar. Never on his own, Marjoram didn't allow it, she would always accompany him, and what's more he didn't have any friends. Though that was another thing, he felt at times that he had friends, but couldn't remember any. It was all very confusing, it was like a whole part of his life had been erased. The only friends he could ever remember having were his childhood friends, and that was a long time ago.

He was nervous, he wanted to ask Marjoram some questions about his past. He knew she didn't like these types of questions, if anything made her angry it was his questions about his past. He looked across at her sitting at the dining table, she was reading one of her many crochet pattern books. He wasn't sure either if she had changed or maybe it was like the dreams; all in his imagination.




Marjoram sat upright on her hard backed chair, she reminded Perry of a old fashioned school head mistress. Her hair was tied back in a bun, she wore dark horn rimmed glasses, a high neck blouse tied at the top with a female neck tie. Her tweed knee length skirt matched her sensible tan coloured flat shoes.

'Excuse me Marjoram' he asked with a quiver in his voice

'Yes Perry' she answered, looking at him annoyed at being disturbed in the middle of the exciting bit of line 185 'Skip next st, dc in next st; working behind last st made'.

He could feel the tears beginning to well up 'Where did I come from?' he began to blubber

Marjoram frowned 'Stop this blubbering! She replied. She didn't show her concern, she knew that she would have to tell him about the birds and the bees at some point, but she didn't think it would have to be so soon. She would have to consult the manual again.

Quickly changing the subject 'Lets go into town' she ordered. The manual said it was good to test your man regularly, to make sure he is not slipping from the program. Tonight she would take him into town for a walk around his old haunts. She would watch his reactions carefully, he may need a reprogramming top up. He had been acting a little unusual lately, she had noticed only yesterday, when they were on the bus home, how he looked at every pub they passed.

On the bus going into town she noticed he was rubbing his hands together 'why are you doing that?' she asked.

'I like going into town' he grinned like a six year old boy

'There's a good boy. You behave yourself now. No tantrums, I won't have any tantrums Perry!' she growled.

'Yes Marjoram' he answered nodding his head

After they got off the bus and as they walked down towards Temple Bar Square, he gripped her hand excitedly and began to pull her towards The Temple Bar Music Centre 'Marjoram can we go in here?'

'No Perry! You know you are not allowed. You promised you would behave yourself'

'Okay Marjoram' he said meekly

She turned them back and onto Dame Street, she couldn't hold back any longer. She need to see what his reaction would be like when they passed his old regular the Oak Bar. She hoped that none of his old friends would be outside smoking.

Everything went well for Marjoram as they walked up Dame Street, Perry didn't react at all and she was pleased until they came to the front door of the Oak. Suddenly he let go of her hand and started to make for the door.

'Perry! she screamed 'What do you think you are doing?'

'I want to go in' he answered.

''Well you can't! There are dirty old drinkers in there' she said scowling and remembering the many night she had spend in bars before Perry was reprogrammed.





'dirty old drinkers' Perry mimicked

Thinking quickly she added 'And there are Nerds in there too! And we don't like Nerds' She said snarling 'Do we Perry? If you go in there the Nerds will get you!'

'Neep-neep' she whispered into his ear






Perry jumped with fright 'No! No! Marjoram don't let the Nerds get me!!! I want to go home'

'Good boy' she smiled 'Lets go home and I will make you cocoa. And if you are a good boy I will let you sleep in my bed instead of on your mat'

He looked at her with a big grin and asked 'Can I slobber too?'

'Yuck! Perry don't be disgusting!' Marjoram screeched in horror.